One Regret
by SomeKindofAuthor
Summary: Nudge harbors hope of finding her parents, but when she gets her mom's adress, she has doubts. Iggy doesn't want her to go; everytime he thinks of losing her, there’s a sharp pressure in his chest. But he doesn’t stop her. What happens when Nudge leaves?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: ****Nudge harbors hope of finding her parents, but when she gets her mom's adress, she has doubts. Iggy doesn't want her to go; everytime he thinks of losing her, there's a sharp pressure in his chest. But he doesn't stop her. What happens when Nudge leaves?****-Twoshot.**

**A/N: I really like this story. I can't quite get the end right, but I like the beginning and the middle nice enough. It's not so much a story about Nudge finding her mother; if it was, then I would spend more time with Nudge and the Flock action. As it is, it's just a NudgexIggy story using Nudge finding her mom as a trigger. If you don't like it, then I'm sorry, but the next chapter's not gonna get much better for you.**

**One Regret-- Chapter 1**

They never stopped looking. They might have hidden the papers from Max, or not let on to her about their secret searches, but secretly they never stopped trying to find their parents. Especially Nudge.

It wasn't that she was unhappy with her Flock, or that she perceived life with her biological family greater than life with her mutant family. She just wanted to know where she came from. It was hard to describe why she was so adamant about finding them. In their brief sliver of school life she had this project about her heritage. She knew that she was black, but her ancestors could've been from anywhere. Africa, the Caribbean, she could've been Native American for all she knew. That was the point: She didn't know. But she never stopped trying to find out.

Dr. Martinez encouraged her. Just the fact that Max had a person who was there for her someone who loved her just _because _made Nudge wish she had someone like that too. So when Jeb strolled in the Martinez household on one of the Flock's visits and declared "I've found something", Nudge's stomach lurched in anticipation and she immediately rushed to the scientist.

"What? What have you found? Who is it? Whose parents? Where are they? Have you found—" Max stopped Nudge's stream of noise with a glare. But that didn't keep Nudge from bouncing up and down on her heels and crossing her fingers, silently wishing that the "something" Jeb found was about _her_.

The Flock was assembled plus Dr. Martinez, Jeb and Ella to the living room where Jeb announced his findings. "When Itex dismantled they ordered the destruction of every slice of evidence that would point any controversial fingers their way. I managed to get a hold of one of the team that destroyed it, and it turns out he made back up files in the event that anyone wanted to make a case against Itex. So far no one had approached him about this, for the same reasons why he'd never came out with the information himself: they were all guilty of something. But he gave me a copy of the remaining files, and—" It couldn't have just been Nudge's imagination that Jeb's gaze flickered to her. It must mean more than that—right? "And I've found the address and information of Nudge's parents."

Nudge let out a shriek, and instinctively the Flock covered their ears. The grin that threatened to explode on her face could be ignored no longer. She hugged Jeb and screamed over and over again "thank you thank you thank you". Jeb patted her awkwardly on the back, and then said needlessly, "Would you like this information?"

Nudge didn't answer, but then she didn't have to. Jeb handed the files he'd printed out to a dazed Max, and then took his leave. The remaining gazes were set either on a bubbly, excited Nudge or on her opposite a shocked, stunned Max.

"You were still looking?" Max asked, confused.

Nudge toned her animation down a little when she answered. "Yes, don't be mad, Max!" she added when she saw Max's face.

"I'm not _mad_, Nudge," she said, although Nudge saw the way Max looked at the papers, and avoided Nudge's eyes.

"It's just!" Nudge struggled to explain herself, "You have Dr. Martinez. And a sister related to you by blood and not just by situation. And your mom's amazing. She bakes. She lets you stay here with five other genetic recombinants. And she loves you despite the fact that you've got wings." Max sneaked a look at Dr. Martinez and Ella as if admitting that, yes this was all true. "I just wanted that for me."

"You deserve that," Max said softly, but reluctantly. Nudge smiled, happy that Max got it. She then looked to the rest of her Flock, and their expressions hit her hard. They weren't ones of encouragement, but the lack of support wasn't what made her face fall. It was the disappointed and dejected air surrounding her winged family that made Nudge suddenly realize that if she left to go find her biological family, she would have to leave her winged family. Forever.

* * *

"Do you think I should do it?" Nudge drew her knees into her chest and traced circles on her bare feet. Iggy was her usual confidant, and now that she was faced with a huge decision, she had naturally come to him. But he seemed… unattached. Disinterested. She sneaked a look at him now as he was reading his book, his eyes staring straight forward, his fingers tracing the raised bumps on the page.

"Why does it matter what I think? This doesn't involve me." Iggy answered a bit harshly in Nudge's opinion. But she tried not to let it show.

"Yeah, I just... do you have regrets about meeting your parents?" Because Iggy was a veteran in this. He'd done the awkward situation before, the same situation that Nudge _might_ find herself in. If she decided to go that is.

"Well considering the fact that they tried to sell me as a _product_ when I got there, yes, I have a few regrets."

Nudge blinked, noticing his aggravated tone. She tried to censor her words… as much as Nudge _could_ censor her words.

"Sorry," she apologized, "I mean-- do you ever wish that you _hadn't_ met them? That you _hadn't _gone with them? Or are you glad that—"

"I met them," he interrupted callously, "They were jerks." Iggy was conflicted. If he told Nudge the truth --that he didn't regret it-- then she would leave. And he didn't want her to leave. His chest constricted at the thought; and he didn't think it was because his "little sister" was leaving. Or at least, that wasn't all. But he couldn't tell her a lie. He hated lying to Nudge. Maybe if she weren't so _trusting_, so _gullible_, it would make it easier. But she was, and so he couldn't lie. He took in breath and confessed. "But no, I don't regret it."

"Oh. Good," Nudge said, sounding relieved.

"Good? Iggy asked tentatively, reluctant to hear her answer.

"Yeah, I'm going to go."

After an agonizingly long silence in which invisible hands grabbed hold of Iggy's chest and squeezed tightly, Iggy muttered the only word he could make out.

"Oh,"

It certainly wasn't the only thing running through his mind. He had loads to say to Nudge. But the invisible hands seemed not to be on his side, and wouldn't let him speak his mind. They wouldn't let him stop her.

* * *

She tried to tell herself that as soon as she sat down and had a nice chat with her parents (Oh, Gosh, her _parents_) she was flying straight back to her Flock. But it was hard to convince herself of that when she was packing everything she owned.

She possessed more than the average bird kid what with her many phases. There had been that time when she was insanely into shoujo manga, and that time when she couldn't get enough of the band Relient K. And... ew... Nudge very faintly remembered the time when she was a Miley Cyrus fanatic and sang "Best of Both Worlds" at the top of her lungs, much to Iggy's annoyance...

Iggy.

She'd been thinking a lot about him lately. Of course her mind traveled in and out of Flock memories, but the most prominent of them were of Iggy. Especially her talk with him last night. What he'd said, about no regrets from seeing his parents, somehow it hadn't been the answer she was looking for.

But that was stupid. She had honestly wanted to know of Iggy's feelings on meeting his biological family. How could she _want_ a specific answer, when all she wanted to know was how did Iggy feel? But lying to herself was also stupid. She didn't give a flying peanut butter cup about Iggy's feelings. All she wanted was an incentive to stay.

Nudge tugged on the drawstring on her backpack, closing it as far as it would go. It wasn't that far. After all, this was her entire life she was trying to carry in small backpack. She examined the worn out denim, blue bag, and though it was stuffed to the brim, she couldn't help feeling like something was missing. Someone. Five someone's. But as much as she would love to stuff each Flock member into the bag, not only would it just not carry anything else, it was just a stupid thought.

_"Nudge!" _Max called from downstairs.

She'd held this off for too long. Time to go.

Was it wrong that Iggy didn't want to hug her good-bye? He had a sinking thought that this would be the last time he'd get to touch her-- ever, and that he should make the most of it. But he was still in denial, so when Nudge wrapped her arms around Iggy's skinny body and squeezed, the most he could bring himself to do was pat her awkwardly on the shoulder.

She seemed surprised at this. This "hug" lasted a lot shorter than Max's or Angel's. Nudge pulled away hesitantly, and then, realizing that this wasn't going any farther than a light pat, she completely freed herself from him.

It was only when she wasn't in close proximity anymore that Iggy realized he wanted to hug her. But he'd lost his chance. And now she was leaving.

Iggy focused on not breaking down while Max explained her and Nudge's flight plan.

"We're going to stay at a hotel tomorrow, and then wake up early and finish the rest of the flight. I should be back in three days, four tops."

"I" should be back, Max said, not "we". Because Nudge wasn't coming back.

**A/N. Criticism would be lovely, thank you. So would a peek at my other stories, Battle of the Pairings and a Midnight Chat (if I'm allowed to advertise shamelessly like this).**

**-SomeKindofAuthor**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: ****Nudge harbors hope of finding her parents, but when she gets her mom's adress, she has doubts. Iggy doesn't want her to go; everytime he thinks of losing her, there's a sharp pressure in his chest. But he doesn't stop her. What happens when Nudge leaves?-Twoshot.**

**One Regret- Chapter 2**

They were there. Nudge was torn between squealing in delight and collapsing from nerves, so she did a combination of both. She squealed quietly to herself, although Max noticed and smiled sadly at her. Her knees also felt like they were going to give way. She shook, but it wasn't just her legs. All of her trembled with the weight of this moment. Nudge inhaled and closed her eyes, trying to get in right mind for what she was about to do. _Just, whatever you do, Don't Faint._

Had this been what Iggy was feeling as he stood in front of his "parents" front door? Had his knees been preparing to buckle? Had his eyes filled with tears? Had his heart pounded vehemently? Nudge suspected that, yes, Iggy had felt all of these things. Because how could you not? How could you stand at the doorstep, awaiting the moment that would change your life forever and _not_feel these things? Did the people behind the door (presumably Nudge's biological family) know what kind of anxiety they were inflicting on the poor thirteen year old? Well they were about to find out. Or not.

Nudge turned to Max, furrowing her brow and biting her lip, begging with her eyes for reassurance. With her mouth she said, "I've changed my mind; we should leave now--"

Max grabbed onto Nudge's hand, shaking her head. "Nunh-unh, you're doing this. If not, you'll regret it." With that, Max yanked Nudge's hand in the direction of the doorbell, and led her hand to push it.

They heard it faintly ring inside the house, and both bird kids sharply drew breath.

They heard footsteps, and their fingers laced in each other's, a silent agreement that they were in this together.

The door opened, and in the doorway stood Nudge's mom.

"Mom...?" Nudge asked, finding her voice after several awkward moments of silence.

Max saw the sharp, quizzical look on the woman's face and took charge of the situation, even though her own hands shook, aware of what was about to happen.

"Um, ma'am, did you... did you lose a daughter about thirteen years ago?"

The woman's face turned hard, guarding her secret closely. She drew back within her home letting the shadows catch part of her face. "Who are you?" she asked venomously. "What do you want?"

"Nothing!" Max assured, "I just--," Max looked quickly to Nudge and prodded her closer to the door. Still in shock, Nudge didn't react, just let Max push her. The woman --Nudge's mother-- _did_ react. She stepped back a little, astonished by the sudden movement. "I think this is her."

The woman's eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth. Her eyes strayed from Max and locked on Nudge. They traveled up and down Nudge's body as though taking her in. Evaluating the chances that she could be her long lost daughter. Nudge did the same with her "mother", inspecting as much as the shadows gave away. At first the woman's movements were so miniscule that they went unnoticed. But suddenly, her head began shaking furiously. Her hand dropped down to her side and formed a fist. She closed her eyes, and her face tilted to the ground. She muttered, "No, no,no," again and again.

"...Mom?" Nudge asked warily, afraid by the woman's antics.

She stopped at that word. Her head lifted abruptly, and her eyes opened. "Don't call me that," the woman said, but now she sounded more scared than angry. "Don't call me that-- You are not Monique. You cannot be Monique."

"But I am!" Nudge said, suddenly becoming animated. "I am! That's my name! It's me, Monique!"

The woman ignored her cries, instead denying Nudge over and over again, and telling her that she wasn't her mother.

Nudge wailed assurances that it _was _true and pleaded for the woman to believe her.

Eventually both these cries were hushed when the door slammed shut.

Nudge stared disbelievingly at the closed door in front of her. Her mouth was wide in the telltale 'o'. Her bottom lip trembled and she looked like she was trying _really hard_not to have a breakdown. Max grabbed Nudge's hand, pulling Nudge closer to her; and Nudge stopped resisting the breakdown that was inevitably coming. She collapsed in Max's arms, sobbing fervidly into her chest. Max didn't say anything, which was good as Nudge knew that nothing Max could say would make it better. She didn't believe that they'd gotten the wrong address. Not many African-American women in their thirties gave birth to children who were abducted soon after. It wasn't a coincidence. They'd flown to the right place, they'd knocked on the right door; they'd spoken to the right person. The only flaw in the plan was: that person didn't want her.

But all at once Nudge could understand Iggy's answer. He didn't harbor any regrets, and neither did she. Only if she hadn't gone, would she have regrets, because then the What Ifs would haunt her forever. But she had gone, and now she knew. Now she knew that her mother didn't want her.

She was forced to suffer through the after-effects of the rejection all the way home. Even the prospect that she was returning to her Flock, didn't numb the pain.

Iggy wasn't idly waiting for Max to come home like Fang or Angel. He wallowed in self-pity on his bed, enveloped in darkness. But this was a different darkness than that which he usually lived in. It all seemed a tad darker without her around.

Encompassed in his own murky emotions, Iggy didn't realize Nudge was home until she knocked on his door and asked if she could come in.

When he first heard it, he quickly sat up, fumbling for a steady grip on his bed. His heart raced, as he tried to discern _Was that really her? _The Gasman wasn't playing an insanely cruel, very lethal --for him-- joke on Iggy, was he? But then she walked in not bothering for an answer. Iggy scooted to make room for her on the bed, and she sat beside him.

"You're back," he said with an unmistakable happiness in his voice. He then realized that he sounded a tad too eager, and toned his smile down a bit when Nudge answered.

"I'm back," There was an unmistakable sadness in her voice. Hearing how depressed Nudge was made Iggy realize just what Nudge being back meant.

"What happened?"

Nudge tried to laugh ruefully, tried to act as though she was over it, but it came out as a choked sob. She was still pained from whatever happened. Iggy instinctively wrapped an arm around her. "Um..." she started, and noting the pain in her voice, he pulled her closer. "She didn't believe me."

Iggy raised his eyebrows in surprise. Of all the situations that the Flock had dreamed up, that had never happened. There was the possibility that their parents could be spies for an international organization dealing with smuggled llamas (the Gasman). There was the possibility that their parents were part of the Mob (Angel), but it had never occurred to them that their parents might not believe them when they admitted to being alive. He rubbed her shoulder in support, letting her continue.

"She sounded... afraid. Max said she sounded crazy because she kept saying over and over again that I wasn't her daughter and I wasn't Monique, but I say that if she's crazy than I am because I kept saying over and over again that she was my mother and my name _was _Monique but she did-- she d-- sh--" Nudge was silent, struggling within herself, and trying to fight past the awful lump in her throat.

"You don't have to continue," Iggy allotted. Nudge nodded in thanks.

"I'm," Iggy began, "I'm actually kind of glad that she didn't believe you." Nudge stiffened under his hold, and he hurried to explain, "Only because ,well, it would've sucked without you."

Nudge relaxed again, burying herself deeper into Iggy's body. Iggy realized that his cheeks are beginning to warm, and his heart was pounding harder and harder. It _would've _sucked without her. She didn't know how much he went through in the four days she was gone. He sucked in breath, relieved that he dodged that hurdle.

"Thank you." She whispered to his chest.

They stayed like that for another long while, until a thought that kept tugging at Iggy's mind found its way to his mouth.

"What if she hadn't been—" Iggy didn't want to say 'insane', "What if she'd believed you, and accepted you then would you have stayed with her?" Just the thought of this notion made him uncomfortable and his words were spoken with ill ease. If it'd been hell for him after just four days then what would it have been like if— if she were gone—

"Well... yeah," Nudge answered. She sensed his discomfort and started shifting beneath his arm, trying to get rid of the uneasiness. It didn't work.

"Forever," Iggy stated. His understanding tone was gone, now there was something else in his voice. Nudge couldn't place it, but she knew she didn't like it.

"Yeah," she said cautiously.

"I came back," he announced abruptly. "They had my bed made, dinner cooked every night, a stable home-- everything and I still came back." Now she knew what it was. His tone sounded accusatory, and the warm, feel-good atmosphere it had once been was slowly giving way to this new, harsh environment. Nudge lifted his arm from around her shoulder, and pulled away from his body. Iggy missed the warmth. It just felt especially cold where she used to lay, and her pulling away only made him more irritated.

"Well if my mother—" (It hurt her to say that word, she realized) "had wanted to sell me out, I would've come back too."

"But what if she hadn't?" Nudge really didn't like his tone. She moved further away. Iggy realized this and it only fueled his fire more. "Let's say everything works out perfectly between you and your mom. Let's say you've got the family that rivals the Cosby's. You still wouldn't come back?" It wasn't as much as a question as it was a statement. Iggy was so sure of it.

Nudge was quickly becoming annoyed, and adopted a tone just as accusatory as Iggy's in an attempt to make him stop. She didn't know why he was saying these things, but it was triggering her 'sadness' function and she would seriously like for him to shut up. "You know how important family is to me." And he did. How many times had Nudge confided in him her secret wishes? He was acting as though he hadn't heard her dreams and fantasies for the past few years.

Iggy found himself standing up. "So I-- we aren't your family anymore? Just because this woman gave birth to you, the five people who've stuck by you all your mutant freak life suddenly don't matter?"

Nudge found herself standing up, too. "I'd visit!"

"Oh yes, you'd visit in wherever we'd happen to be living at the time. What happens when there's bad weather, or when you've got homework, and your precious mummy says that you can't? What happens when the visits become more and more infrequent and suddenly you just stop? What happens when you forget us?" How had this hypothetical situation turned into a sparring match? Of course it had never been _just_ hypothetical to him. In his mind's eye he saw it all unravel. He was confessing his worst fears with each accusation: Nudge slowly losing contact with him and the Flock. Maybe it hit him harder because he'd had a chance at that happiness, but was screwed over. Maybe that was it; maybe it was something more. For some reason just the _thought_ of Nudge losing all memory of him made Iggy angry… and hurt.

Stupid feelings. It was _hypothetical_, jeez! There was no reason for feeling like crap. So why did he?

"You're the one who told me to go!" Nudge cried, "You said that I'd have regrets. You said that it'd haunt me for the rest of my life if I didn't go."

"I shouldn't have," Iggy murmured.

"You're not making any sense," Nudge blamed exasperatedly.

This time he said it louder. "I shouldn't have told you to go. I shouldn't have risked it."

"Risked what?"

"Risked losing you."

The bedroom became still and quiet as they both reflected on what Iggy just said. Surprisingly, Iggy did not try to retract his words. He was glad that he said it. He'd come so close to everything deteriorating, and it was only luck and God's good will that had saved him. But what would happen when luck wasn't on his side? He couldn't risk it again. He would never take that kind of chance again. There was another agonizingly long silence in which each bird kid wondered what the other was thinking. Iggy anticipated-- well he didn't know what Nudge would do with the information he'd just handed her. Usually incredibly impatient, Iggy waited, letting Nudge think on what he'd confessed.

"I wouldn't have forgotten you," she said finally.

"You don't know tha—"

"No. You don't know that. You're making up a bunch of stupid situations that would never happen, and leaving out some important facts. The fact that I would fly through a hurricane again to get to you guys. The fact that I love you guys too much to ever forget. Especially you."

It was a night of confessions. Nudge didn't know what made those last two words fly out of her mouth, but she suspected it had something to do with what Iggy said, and how he said it. He said it as though never seeing Nudge again would've been pain equivalent to poking a thousand pins into his heart. Nudge liked the way he said it. She liked the soft confession and the way it had seemed to slip out of his mouth catching Iggy unaware. Maybe that's why she slipped a confession too.

So what happened now that the two had "accidentally" admitted thoughts that they wouldn't have ever recounted to anyone?

Stand there looking and feeling awkward as anything? Nudge half hoped that someone would suddenly burst through the door and save them. The uncomfortable silence grew on her, and the walls seemed to pick up on that, enjoying her discomfort, and draw even closer. Suddenly, the space between she and Iggy was even more prominent; it seemed highlighted by an electric charge. Nudge was half-afraid to dive deeper into it, but then something was drawing her to the idea of delving straight into the sea of electricity that separated the two bird kids.

Even so, she felt relief, and knew that Iggy felt it too, when her half-wish came true and Max suddenly threw open the door. The sudden alien sound broke the walls' concentration causing them to retreat suddenly and make the room seem much bigger, but still uncomfortable.

"Dinner's ready," Max declared, eyebrows raised.

"Be there soon!" Iggy blurted out.

Max nodded slowly trying to figure out what the deal was with the tension. A fight maybe? She looked from Iggy's embarrassed, crimson face to Nudge's which she could barely see because Nudge was looking firmly at the floor.

"Um. Okay," Max said warily. She retreated, and the click of the door accented the returning silence.

Nudge sneaked a peak at Iggy whose thumb fidgeted nervously, tucked into his belt loop. "I guess we'd better go," he murmured softly. Without waiting for word from Nudge, Iggy headed out.

Nudge watched Iggy walk out of the room wondering, thinking about the last ten-minutes-felt-like-years. Was he also thinking about it? Was he also wondering what the hecks just happened?

--

"So, Nudge, do you have any regrets?" Max said softly, as though she dare not ask Nudge about her adventure so close to the incident happening. Iggy's ears perked up.

"Yeah, I do have one."

Iggy suddenly became aware of a foreign knee touching and warming his under the table. Left knee. Nudge. Iggy knew that his cheeks had suddenly flamed humiliatingly. Even more embarrassing: Iggy swiftly realized that in eavesdropping on Nudge and Max's conversation, he'd tensed and stopped moving. His fork was halfway to his mouth, but he couldn't bring himself to move it any further to complete its journey. Sure it was WRONG to eavesdrop, but what Nudge would say next was important. He was kind of hoping… well, whatever he was hoping for, he NEEDED to know.

"Yeah?" Max asked.

"Yup." Nudge drew in a large breath and Iggy's eyes narrowed. She was trying to kill him wasn't she? That's why she was building up suspense. Not because the next words coming from her lips would be some of the hardest words she'd ever had to admit, but because she enjoyed watching Iggy in pain. Sadist.

"My one regret is ever risking the chance of losing you."

Max took the "you" as plural, as a heart-felt sentiment to include the entire Flock and maybe Dr. M, Ella and Jeb too. And maybe that's exactly how Nudge meant it.

Iggy preferred a different translation.

Perhaps it was the skip of his heart deceiving him, spurring his mind to limn wild school-boy fantasies, or perhaps it was that he was just feeling dizzy from the fact that Nudge had suddenly linked her hand with his, but Iggy kind of thought that Nudge's words were meant for him.

He smiled.

He had no earthly idea what was going on here, and would probably need an extensive talk with Fang to get his act together. But here at the dinner table, eating Mac and cheese and furtively holding hands with Nudge, Iggy felt a fire of happiness spark at his insides.

Nudge risked losing him.

Iggy very foolishly risked losing her.

But in the end the risks they ran, the chances they took amounted to this moment. Basking in the glow of the mirth of this point in time, Iggy almost didn't regret a thing.

**A/N: Well, this is Chapter Two. The End. Sorry it's taken me (counts the days) a long time for me to post this, but I was having endless trouble with the last part of it. I wasn't sure how to wrap it up. I hope that it fits well with the story (I wrote the ending a few months after writing the beginning) and that y'all like it. Tell me your thoughts in a review.**

**Thanks for reading—**

**SomeKindofAuthor**


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